Yes, it’s true. There’s a side to me that nobody suspects, except a few of my closest friends.
By day, I’m a mild-mannered professor. (Okay, maybe not that mild-mannered. But still.) By night, however, I’m a… (wait for it…) Tupperware lady. (Or, as one of the women at the party last night suggested as an alternate moniker, a TupperB*tch. I like that, but I suspect that corporate hq won’t approve.)
Yes, it’s true. Following the excellent advice provided in The Graduate, I have invested in plastics. Well, invested probably isn’t the right word. I just happen to love Tupperware. And when my best friend invited me to a Tupperware party last year—the first one I’d attended in easily 15 years—I found that I love the new products as much as the old ones.
So I did what any sensible person with a stay-at-home-spouse would do…I went home and tried to convince him to become a Tupperware consultant. “The woman running the party has a &*^% company car,” I told him. “This is easy money.” Plus (and here’s the real incentive) we get a discount on all our purchases. A pack rat’s dream—all the Tupperware we can fit in our cupboards! Updated versions of all my old favorites, like the serving center and the cake taker. Brand new space-age Lexan-based rock-n-serves for all my leftovers. Modular Mates to organize the pantry (ha! who am I kidding?). Woohoo!
Amazingly, he bought it. For a couple of months, anyhow. Then he (and I) realized that it was not a good fit for an introvert. :-) (I know, I know. Duh.) But I just couldn’t bear to give up the discount. Their stuff is just too much fun.
So every now and again I actually throw a Tupperware party. Or take an order for a friend because a big sale is running. Or direct people who love Tupperware but hate Tupperware people to my Tupperware web site, where they can order without ever having to talk to me.
Now that the truth is out, I can stop living a lie. No more excuses—“Gee, I’d love to attend your seminar on digital identity tonight, but I have a…um…a book group tonight.” Say it loud…I’m a TupperB*tch and I’m proud!
So the next time you find yourself craving one of those handy-dandy plastic items (with a lifetime guarantee, no less)…stop by the web site and pick something up. And know that by doing so, you may well be funding my summer trip to Gnomedex. What could be a better cause?
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