Morgan!
After visiting with both of the dogs today at the shelter, it was clear that Missey was a lot more standoffish, and that Morgan had far less of the chow tendency towards aloofness. So we signed the papers, paid the fee, and brought her home!
She's adapting really well so far. She seems fully housebroken, which is a relief. And she's allowed us to put her in the crate, although when I try to go upstairs with her in it she cries and barks a little. (She's hardly barked at all other than that, even when the doorbell rang.)
She's very affectionate, and seems to have accepted that we're the dominant ones around here, not her.
My only concern at this point is about sleeping arrangements. All the doggie guide books and websites suggest that having her sleep in our room is the best thing, since dogs are pack animals and like to sleep near their "pack." But I don't think that's an ideal solution for us from a marital stability standpoint. That's part of why I'm still sitting here on the couch even though I'm exhausted. I'm worried that if I leave her crated downstairs all night by herself (which "the experts" advise against) that she'll whine and bark and be miserable. However, I don't seem to ahve a better alternative at the moment, other than bringing her (with or without the crate) up into our bedroom, and I really don't want to do that.
Honestly, I think a new baby was easier in some ways--with those I was able to rely on instincts as much as guidebooks. With a dog, I'm really flying blind so far as instincts are concerned!
I'll post pictures tomorrow (I took some tonight, but haven't pulled them off the camera yet).
I would try letting her sleep in one of the boys' rooms or Erin's room (if either one of them wants her in it). My family's cat used to sleep on my bed (of course a cat is much smaller). The dog could sleep on the floor in one of the rooms, but I guarantee at first she'll want to be around people. Then over time she might realize that sleeping in the living room or something works fine enough.
Hope it goes well however you try to work it out! :)
She ended up spending the night in her crate in the living room, with no apparent problems. I slept with the door open so I could hear if she barked or cried, but we all had a peaceful night. Gerald woke up early this morning and took her out for a walk, and when I came downstairs a few minutes ago she was full of tail-wagging energy :)
I was going to suggest the same thing as Elsie, but it looks like the dog may be okay with sleeping in the living room.
By the way, when I first got our small dog from the shelter, he wouldn't bark either. But after a few weeks, once he'd claimed his territory, he started barking up a storm (well, he is part terrier, so I should have expected it).
she just wants to feel like part of the pack and be in the safe space, not unlike ourselves. so, if you spend a lot of time with her in the living room and she feels good there, you should be all set.
(ps - as this is my fist comment, i feel i should identify myself. my name is cindy larson and we met when you spoke at the sirsidynix conference last year in colorado springs.)
Make sure you acquaint her with lots of people, so that she is sociable.