I met both my husbands online. The first on a DC-area BBS called TMMABBS (Terry Monks' Macintosh Apple BBS), and the second on a FidoNet echo. In both cases, I fell in love with the prose before I met the person. And also in both cases, their ability to speak as well as they wrote and to engage in verbal banter sealed the deal.
I don't know how typical that is, but after a conversation with a friend this weekend who mentioned how instrumental IM had been in the start of one of his relationships, I realized that I'm certainly not unique in having this particular weakness. There's something about well-crafted text that just does more for me than six-pack abs (not that the latter is necessarily a bad thing, mind you...).
I don't read FidoNet echos anymore, but I do read blogs--and am still as delighted by good writing there as I was when I encountered it on bbs's and mailing lists. And now I add to that tools like IM and IRC, which give me real-time textual gratification. While I'm completely uninterested in tools like Skype (I avoid most voice communication, other than face-to-face, like the plague), I love IM. I love the way it lends itself to banter, to creative exchange, to plays on words. (I'm happily married now, and so my interests and needs have shifted a bit...but just as I don't mind watching handsome actors on TV, I also enjoy watching skilled writers show off their talents.)
In my IM and IRC use I've resisted the move to increasing brevity, to the SMS-speak that's gaining such popularity among my students. There doesn't seem to be a lot of nuance in phrases like r u ok, or s^ (which my son had to teach me is shorthand for "what's up"). Yes, I let an occasional "LOL" slip into my communication, but not much more than that.
Written language has a long history in flirtation and courtship...I worry a bit that mobile culture and its focus on speed and efficiency will lead to the death of seductive prose. Although I suppose I'm simply part of a continuing stream of elders who express that kind of worry about every new technology, from typewriters to SMS. Damn. Now I feel old. <sigh>
here is some poetry based upon the variable foot: it is my argument that text messaging and cell phone communication will create an awareness of the poetic form as we self reflect upon our moments of beautitude and rediscover the american idiom hidden in our speaking patterns.
Asphodel, That Greeny Flower
Of asphodel, that greeny flower,
like a buttercup
upon its branching stem-
save that it's green and wooden-
I come, my sweet,
to sing to you.
We lived long together
a life filled,
if you will,
with flowers. So that
I was cheered
when I came first to know
that there were flowers also
in hell.
I am either blessed or cursed to move at what I would consider a slower pace than most in a relationship - taking my time, waiting for certain moments to go out on that special date, etc. Of course, I also need me time, so always being connected (either online or mobile phone) has its cons as well. Apparently none of this is appreciated as much as I'd like to think it is, however, due to the fact that I am single again.
Nontheless, I've also realized that it takes a certain mentality and level of maturity for that kind of relationship. Am I too early for my time or simply in the wrong pool? Whatever the case, graduate school is certainly not making things any easier, but perhaps that's a good thing - keeps me out of trouble. :-)
Oh, I agree, Liz, seductive prose is - well, very seductive. I love text.
I've not gone to the effort of learning to understand the nuances of that abbreviated IM/SMS language yet, but I'll bet it can have as much beauty and seductive power as our style of prose can. It takes time to learn to see the beauty of Shakespeare's language too, for people who aren't used to the style, the words, the patterns.
Seductive prose shall never die. It's far too effective to go by the wayside.