mamamusings: May 23, 2004

elizabeth lane lawley's thoughts on technology, academia, family, and tangential topics

Sunday, 23 May 2004

eating my words

Before my temporary fame of last week, my most-linked-to post ever was my entry on depression, entitled “control freak.” In that post, I said:

I’ve been lucky enough not to have needed a 12-step program.

Well, that’s no longer true. Last week, for reasons that I’m not yet (and may never be) willing to blog about, I started attending Al-Anon meetings.

If someone you love is an alcoholic, it’s not just their problem—it’s yours, as well. And my being a “control freak” is both a result of that problem and a contributor to it.

As anyone who’s gone through this will tell you, trying to change the person who’s an alcoholic is a futile process—their change has to come from them, not you. The silver lining in all of this is that it’s given me the push I needed to make some changes in myself. So some of the energy that in the past has gone into my blog will, at least for the time being, be channeled into taking care of myself in the real world, and working on some aspects of myself that could bear improvement.

How much, if any, of this I blog about is yet to be determined—because it’s not just about me. I have to strike a balance between my desire to share this process with others (there’s a lot to be gained from hearing the stories of people going through difficult experiences, I think), and my desire to protect the privacy of people I love.

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more like this: recovery
Liz sipping melange at Cafe Central in Vienna