eating my words

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Before my temporary fame of last week, my most-linked-to post ever was my entry on depression, entitled "control freak." In that post, I said:

I've been lucky enough not to have needed a 12-step program.

Well, that's no longer true. Last week, for reasons that I'm not yet (and may never be) willing to blog about, I started attending Al-Anon meetings.

If someone you love is an alcoholic, it's not just their problem--it's yours, as well. And my being a "control freak" is both a result of that problem and a contributor to it.

As anyone who's gone through this will tell you, trying to change the person who's an alcoholic is a futile process--their change has to come from them, not you. The silver lining in all of this is that it's given me the push I needed to make some changes in myself. So some of the energy that in the past has gone into my blog will, at least for the time being, be channeled into taking care of myself in the real world, and working on some aspects of myself that could bear improvement.

How much, if any, of this I blog about is yet to be determined--because it's not just about me. I have to strike a balance between my desire to share this process with others (there's a lot to be gained from hearing the stories of people going through difficult experiences, I think), and my desire to protect the privacy of people I love.

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What you don't see, What I won't say from Julie Leung: Seedlings & Sprouts on May 29, 2004 3:59 AM

Emily left a comment yesterday about my garden that reminded me: for a while I have felt that I should post a caveat about my plants. My yard is small, perhaps not worthy of the title "garden". The photos I... Read More


Professor Lawley, I send you my regards and wish you and anyone else in need the best of luck in moving forward from this.

Good luck on the journey.

Much luck gaining healthy control (and distance), Liz.

My wife Beth learned a lot about detachment at al anon. It benefitted both of us. I wish you the best of luck sorting out matters.

you might want to read "Round Rock" by Michelle Huneven (I may not have spelled the last name correctly).

Liz, you don't owe your audience anything, especially since people can be unkind in this semi-anonymous medium. But even talking about what you already have is brave and will make a difference for people. Good luck to you and your loved ones.

It's tough, I know. I've been through the alateen meetings, they were helpful and eye opening.

As Anil said, you don't owe your audience anything, but you do have our support.

Best of luck to you and yours.


Good luck to you as you travel this path. I wish you the best.

Liz, your honesty/courage in writing about al non is appreciated. I attended al-anon during an earlier period in my life, and it helped me of luck.

I thought of you, Liz, listening to "This Is How It Goes," by Aimee Mann, recently.

Al-anon used to be a tough-as-nails program--this I know because I was sent there to learn how to live with myself and other human beings.
With AA, you know you are messing up when you crave (insert substance here).
With Al-anon, the slow, subtle slide into a suicidal moment can be undetectable without close (and serious "hard-ass") sponsorship. Most will not admit that it is more difficult than AA, and the maintenance of a healthy state of being is a constant job. Best of luck.




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About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Liz Lawley published on May 23, 2004 6:04 PM.

my 24 hours of online fame was the previous entry in this blog.

recovery, skepticism, and my "higher power" is the next entry in this blog.

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