things i wish i didn't know

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I've always liked that line in Bob Seger's song Against the Wind..."Wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then."

It's been a rough winter. Too many illnesses, too many losses, for too many of the people I care about.

On the list of things I wish I'd never needed to know--

  • That there's a back entrance to the Strong Hospital parking garage that's much quicker for getting in and out
  • What the visiting restrictions were for neonatal ICUs ten years ago, and what they are now (pretty much the same, it seems)
  • How effective antidepressants can be at helping those of us with a tendency towards chemical imbalance manage the curve balls life throws at us
  • What a month of below-freezing temperatures feels like
  • The difference between sitting shiva in a reform household vs. an ultra-orthodox household

Yeah, I think life would definitely be easier if I'd never had to learn any of those things.

But the sun is out today (even if the temperatures are still below freezing), and my husband and kids--the people who matter most in the world to me--are happy, healthy, and at home waiting for me. That's worth a lot.

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empathy from george.h.williams on February 9, 2004 10:07 PM

"At its best, our age is an age of searchers and discoverers, and at its worst, an age that has domesticated despair and learned to live with it happily."       -Flannery O'Connor Liz lists several things she wishes she di... Read More

5 Comments

While the technology advances in NICUs, it's nice to know that some things never change. I had one baby in NICU in '95 and another in '99 and the similar rules and regulations were some how a bit comforting. I hope that life takes a more upward swing for you and I hope the baby goes home quickly.

Add me to the list of NICU alumni. Summer of 1996 (yes, all summer). I hope the baby you're visiting gets home quickly :)

Sending thoughts of good health your way... 37 years ago I was a preemie (1 pound 9 ounces). Day by day I gained weight as the nurses fed me with an eyedropper. I am proof positive that tiny babies can beat the odds. I know I had a lot of people praying for me. I recognize the ordeal that it was for my mother. She still knows the phone number to the NICU where I spent the first 3 months of my life. I am reminded to be grateful that I'm here and healthy.

Hang in there, Liz. Sun's well on its way to warming our faces and lighting more of the days' hours.

Your neighbor Nate and his mom spent a few days in “Infant/Maternal Special Care” in Yale-New Haven Hospital back in ’85. I don’t know how things may have changed at Yale-New Haven, — but he’s doing okay now (apart from a nasty cold).

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