mamamusings

elizabeth lane lawley's thoughts on technology, academia, family, and tangential topics

Friday, 5 December 2003

death be not proud

Six months ago, I attended my sister’s wedding. It was a joyful occasion. My sister’s life hasn’t been an easy one, and I know she’d often thought she’d never find romantic love.

Today, I will attend her husband’s funeral.

He was killed in a terrible car crash yesterday morning, as he drove to the college where he’s been taking classes in social work. We were told by the social worker at the hospital that the 22-year-old woman who hit him (who was not injured seriously) had been fixing a bagel in her car, and had crossed over onto the wrong side of the road and hit him head-on. He sustained massive head injuries, and passed away yesterday afternoon.

If you’re the kind of person who prays, please pray for my sister, to help her through this incomprehensible loss.

Posted at 8:30 AM in: family
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Bittersweet from Burningbird on December 17, 2003 12:46 PM
Excerpt: I am in the midst of travels, just completed one trip, about to head out on another. I hadn't planned on writing to the weblog during these trips except that I heard from a friend who asked if I was on Blogger Strike. Since that was one of my more asin...
Comments
Comment from Erhardt on December 5, 2003 8:56 AM (Permalink to Comment)

That is truly an awful thing. My heart goes out to your sister and family in such painful times.


Comment from Allison on December 5, 2003 8:57 AM (Permalink to Comment)

Oh my god, Liz, that's so awful. All my condolences.

Shall I post the terrible news to the list? I know there are many who would want to pass their condolences to your sister.


Comment from Jason on December 5, 2003 9:54 AM (Permalink to Comment)

Deepest condolences, Liz, to your sister and all of your family.


Comment from the Oyzons on December 5, 2003 10:31 AM (Permalink to Comment)

Our deepest sympathies and prayers.


Comment from chuck on December 5, 2003 10:37 AM (Permalink to Comment)

Deepest condolences, Liz.


Comment from Julie Lerman on December 5, 2003 10:57 AM (Permalink to Comment)

Liz - my heart goes out to you and your sister. Deeply.
Julie


Comment from Francois Lachance on December 5, 2003 11:16 AM (Permalink to Comment)

If not for them the noble act would not have taken place.

Though some of us cannot recite Kaddish nor Yizkor, we can live in the spirit of those observances.

If not for you and the memory you carry, who is there to call out for the recitation of the words "Oseh sholom bimromov, hu ya'aseh sholom olaynu ..."

If not for you and the memory you share, who is there remind us that on certain days and at certain times to blog is a mitzvah...

If not for you and the memory you keep, who is there to remind us of the duty to offer comfort to a grieving sister...

In your keeping, in your sharing and in your remembering, there is nobility.



Comment from Tona on December 5, 2003 11:48 AM (Permalink to Comment)

I'm so sorry.


Comment from Seb on December 5, 2003 12:00 PM (Permalink to Comment)

I'm really sorry, Liz.


Comment from Matt K. on December 5, 2003 12:10 PM (Permalink to Comment)

That's just awful. And a keenly felt reminder of what we all take for granted.


Comment from Loren on December 5, 2003 12:45 PM (Permalink to Comment)

Such tragedies seem to render mere words meaningless.

Sorry.


Comment from AKMA on December 5, 2003 1:09 PM (Permalink to Comment)

Dear Liz, know our hearts to grieve with you, and our hands to be ready to offer what help we can.

When you don’t hear us clamoring with sympathy and aid, remember that we’re keeping vigil along with you, and honoring your brother-in-law, your sister, you and the rest of your family with a quiet that speaks far more truly of your loss than could any anxious chatter.

And if at any time, in any way, we can support you, serve you, strengthen you, or just sigh with you, please permit us to do whatever we can for you.

Grace and peace be with you — eventually.


Comment from Dorothea Salo on December 5, 2003 1:43 PM (Permalink to Comment)

No words. Just sincere sorrow.


Comment from ralph on December 5, 2003 1:46 PM (Permalink to Comment)

I am so sorry to hear this, Liz. I was just married seven months ago, and for many years felt I would never find someone, much as your sister. I know that these first few months of marriage are an amazing time as you settle into the idea that you'll be with this other person for the rest of your life, and that's a source of great comfort. I can't imagine what it feels like to have that suddenly torn away. I feel so awful for your sister.


Comment from Rana on December 5, 2003 3:27 PM (Permalink to Comment)

How terrible and sad. My heart goes out to your sister and you. Pax.


Comment from KF on December 5, 2003 3:42 PM (Permalink to Comment)

Oh, Jesus, Liz. I am so sorry. Your sister -- and you, and the rest of your family -- are in my thoughts.

It's one of those things that one says, when one doesn't know what to DO -- but if there is anything -- absolutely anything -- that I can do to help, please know that I'm here, and ready, and willing.


Comment from Michael on December 5, 2003 4:43 PM (Permalink to Comment)

I'm the kind of person who prays; I'm praying for your sister. This loss is incomprehensible. Almost as incomprehensible is that this did not catch God by surprise. We seek God in times of pain, not because we understand, but because God understands.


Comment from Katja on December 5, 2003 4:52 PM (Permalink to Comment)

Please accept my condolences to your sister and your family on your tragic loss. My heart goes out to you all.


Comment from jason on December 5, 2003 6:58 PM (Permalink to Comment)

we're sorry.


Comment from George on December 5, 2003 7:03 PM (Permalink to Comment)

I'm very sorry for your family's loss, Liz.


Comment from Elaine on December 5, 2003 7:34 PM (Permalink to Comment)

oh, how aweful. I'm so sorry.


Comment from Gen on December 5, 2003 8:31 PM (Permalink to Comment)

Words fail us all. Sincere sympathies to you, your sister and your whole family. Your sister is in my thoughts.


Comment from Invisible Adjunct on December 5, 2003 8:32 PM (Permalink to Comment)

How horrible. I am so sorry, Liz.


Comment from Jim McGee on December 5, 2003 9:19 PM (Permalink to Comment)

you will all be in our prayers


Comment from jay on December 5, 2003 10:18 PM (Permalink to Comment)

peace be with you and your family.


Comment from Gobi on December 6, 2003 1:28 AM (Permalink to Comment)

Your sister and your family will be in my prayers as well.


Comment from Susan Mernit on December 6, 2003 3:00 AM (Permalink to Comment)

Liz, this is so sad; your sister and family will be in my prayers.


Comment from Simon Phipps on December 6, 2003 8:30 AM (Permalink to Comment)

Oh that's so awful, Liz, deepest sympathy to you all. "... like tears from a star, on and on the rain will say, how fragile we are."


Comment from Cath on December 6, 2003 8:44 AM (Permalink to Comment)

*hugs* because there are simply no words.


Comment from Carlo on December 6, 2003 10:43 AM (Permalink to Comment)

My heart goes out to your family Professor Lawley, I'm terribly sorry about the news.


Comment from Ted on December 6, 2003 12:07 PM (Permalink to Comment)

That is so hard. I'll keep your sister and family in my prayers also.


Comment from Eric on December 6, 2003 3:06 PM (Permalink to Comment)

Liz, I am so sorry. Please accept my condolences to your sister and your family. :-(


Comment from Brendyn on December 6, 2003 4:55 PM (Permalink to Comment)

I'm sorry for your loss. You and your sister are in my prayers, Liz.


Comment from Jon on December 6, 2003 5:07 PM (Permalink to Comment)

Thinking of you fondly and sadly....


Comment from Scott on December 7, 2003 2:28 AM (Permalink to Comment)

Oh dear god that's horrible.


Comment from Kelly on December 7, 2003 12:44 PM (Permalink to Comment)

Liz -

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you deal with this tragedy. :{


Comment from Kathy on December 7, 2003 5:42 PM (Permalink to Comment)

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. What an incredible shock.

My best friend's younger sister was killed in a car accident about 10 years ago, so I know from experience what you must be feeling. I had a great deal of anger at the time and I continually questioned "why?". Actually, I still do.

It is so difficult when a young person dies and it seems to unfair.

My thoughts and prayers are with and your sister.


Comment from Mom on December 7, 2003 11:22 PM (Permalink to Comment)

Liz, thank you for this beautiful blog acknowledgement of our family's tragic loss. I think your friends should know how much you have been doing for us all during this difficult time: everything from hospital runs to staying with Jenny when I have to be out to driving your grandmother where she needs to go to getting meals and cleaning up and answering the phone and taking care of the coats for hundreds (literally hundreds) of visitors. We are deeply grateful.


Comment from Doreen on December 8, 2003 9:21 AM (Permalink to Comment)

I'm so sorry. My sympathies and prayers are with you and your family.


Comment from Carol P. on December 8, 2003 11:27 AM (Permalink to Comment)

Liz, I'm so sorry. Please accept my condolences and you all are in my thoughts at this very difficult time.


Comment from Sarah on December 8, 2003 11:36 AM (Permalink to Comment)

Oh Liz, I'm so sorry. You and your family, especially your sister, are in our thoughts and prayers.


Comment from Christine on December 8, 2003 11:39 AM (Permalink to Comment)

Oh, Liz -- what a senseless tragedy. Your Sept. list friends are all thinking of you.

Christine


Comment from Carole on December 8, 2003 12:03 PM (Permalink to Comment)

Oh Liz! How awful. I am so sorry....I'm lighting a candle in his memory.


Comment from Vilma on December 8, 2003 12:06 PM (Permalink to Comment)

Liz, I am so sorry. Your sister and your family are in my prayers.


Comment from Phoenix on December 8, 2003 6:30 PM (Permalink to Comment)

Liz - I'm holding you and both families in my thoughts and prayers. Thankfully they had found each other, if only for a snippet of time. May memories ease your pain and time heal your hearts.
blessings,
Phoenix


Comment from Liz F. on December 8, 2003 7:48 PM (Permalink to Comment)

I ache for Jenny, you, and all your family. You all are in our prayers. May his memory be eternal.


Comment from Theresa on December 8, 2003 8:29 PM (Permalink to Comment)

Dear Liz:

My sincere condolences on the loss of your brother-in-law. It is so good of you to be there for your family, and I hope that you will find some time to grieve yourself when all the activity is over and the quiet remains.

Saying a prayer for you and your family tonight.

With love, Theresa


Comment from Lisa on December 8, 2003 9:19 PM (Permalink to Comment)

Just saw this. What an awful loss.

Hold her close and let her know how many strangers wish for better times to come.

Lisa F.


Comment from Rod K on December 8, 2003 9:54 PM (Permalink to Comment)

Dear Liz,

I am so sorry for you and your family's loss.

I am going through this experience too. My wife was killed in a car accident on 4/4/02. A place I found that has helped me very much is http://www.widownet.com. I found people there that understand and welcomed me. It may be something your sister could use in the days to come.

Rod


Comment from Donna Wentworth on December 9, 2003 12:05 AM (Permalink to Comment)

I'm so sorry. I am sending my prayers.


Comment from Christine Chriscaden on December 9, 2003 8:02 AM (Permalink to Comment)

I am so sorry. My prayers are with you.


Comment from Ton Zijlstra on December 9, 2003 9:31 AM (Permalink to Comment)

How immensely awful, and what an absolute senseless tragedy. I wish your sister, you and all your loved ones find the strength to carry this sudden and terrible loss.


Comment from Timothy Burke on December 9, 2003 10:22 AM (Permalink to Comment)

It hurts to even read it; hopefully it helps to read in turn that everyone who has read of it is feeling for you and your sister now.


Comment from judith on December 9, 2003 11:22 AM (Permalink to Comment)

deepest condolences liz... my prayers are with you, your sister, and your entire family.


Comment from Sayali on December 9, 2003 2:32 PM (Permalink to Comment)

Liz-

I just saw this. I am so sorry. I will pray for your sister to have the mental strength to get through this. Please tell her she is in our prayers.

Sai


Comment from Mike on December 9, 2003 5:31 PM (Permalink to Comment)

Oh God. Your comment about never finding romantic love hit home and then that tragedy happens. My sincere condolances.


Comment from beth on December 9, 2003 6:22 PM (Permalink to Comment)

my sincerest condolences to you and your family.


Comment from Andy on December 9, 2003 6:32 PM (Permalink to Comment)

So very sad. Be strong in the face of senseless tragedy.


Comment from william on December 10, 2003 8:19 AM (Permalink to Comment)

To you, your family, and your sister, words fail me in this, but all of you are in our prayers. It is sad and senseless that this type of tragedy happens.


Comment from reality on December 10, 2003 12:21 PM (Permalink to Comment)

so sorry to hear this horrible tragedy. my thoughts are with you and your sister.


Comment from Joey deVilla on December 10, 2003 6:07 PM (Permalink to Comment)

My heart and prayers go out to you, your sister and your family, Liz.


Comment from trish on December 11, 2003 3:10 PM (Permalink to Comment)

I'm so saddened to hear this, I can't imagine anything worse than losing a spouse. My thoughts are with you.


Comment from heather smith on December 11, 2003 9:54 PM (Permalink to Comment)

My heart goes out to you and your family. I am truly sorry. Sending my prayers.


Comment from berry on December 12, 2003 8:18 AM (Permalink to Comment)

My prayers go out to your sister and the family in this time of grief.



Comment from kari on December 12, 2003 5:28 PM (Permalink to Comment)

Deepest sympathies, Liz--to you, your sister, and your family.


Comment from Gary Turner on December 15, 2003 11:20 AM (Permalink to Comment)

Liz,

This is very sad news, I'm sure your sister well be comforted by you and all those around her at this heartbreaking time.

Gary Turner.


Liz sipping melange at Cafe Central in Vienna