when you assume...


Discovered Breaching the Web via my Technorati Cosmos (which, alas, has shrunk considerably due to the domain change).

Can't find a name for the blog's author, but I quite liked the post entitled "Don't Assume I'm Like You," which I will quote extensively here:

Don't assume that because I'm successful, my parents never divorced. Don't assume that because I'm progressive, I'm also vegetarian. Don't assume that because I'm a professional, I don't like homemaking. Don't assume that because I dress conservatively, I disapprove of clothing you think is "skanky." Don't assume that because I'm married, I like children. Don't assume that because I have a Ph.D., I look down on people who didn't finish high school. Don't assume that because I criticize a country, I don't love it. Don't assume that because I look a certain way, everyone in my family looks that way. Don't assume that because I work with you, I like you. Don't assume that because I'm straight, I don't know (and love) any gay/bi/trans people. Don't assume that because I'm quiet, I have nothing to say. Don't assume that because I go to your church, I agree with your politics. Don't assume that because I'm a feminist, I look down on housewives. Don't assume that because I knit, I want to make something for you. Don't assume that because I'm cute, I'm not strong. Don't assume that because I act unashamed of something, you can comment on it. Don't assume that because I'm related to you, I agree with you. Don't assume that because I'm smiling, I'm not angry. Don't assume that because something is in a predicate in this paragrah, it's true. And most importantly, don't assume that if I look like you, I am like you.


Sounds like it's probably a woman. And probably a woman I'd like to have as a friend! (Though, of course, that means I'm making assumptions!)


You know, that's all so true. What we appear to be doesn't directly affect what we are inside. I like that quite, it says a lot.

As a side note, I'm really liking this new layout. It's more you than the old one, to my surprise. Somehow I feel like it's reflecting something, but who knows :)

I'll be back in rochester on the 17th, and I miss you and elouise. I hope I get to see you guys while I'm training. Have a good one, Liz.

Thanks for this link, Liz, I loved it and will be sharing it around.

As I reflect on it, though, I wonder exactly what this writer will allow me to assume without rebuke. I do have some friends who have a slightly snappy nature over this sort of thing, telling me off for being [insert epithet] when I 'jump to conclusions'. We all have to make assumptions just in order to function. The key is what we allow those assumptions to make us express and do.

Excellent pearls of wisdom, I think this fits in here nicely as well...

Don't assume, it makes an ass out of "u" and me.

I'm not sure who I've heard it from, either my manager or a few professor's here, but nontheless true words.

I'm the author of this little rant and I appreciate your kind words. I know that assumptions make the world go 'round -- I'm a sociologist, after all (and, by the way, a woman).

I guess what I'm tired of is the constraint of assumptions. It's fine if someone makes an incorrect assumption about me, but I really get angry when the assumer tries to force the assumption on me, if that makes any sense.

For example, a woman I work with told me she was surprised that I was such a radical (politically) because I am so nice. She then insisted that I'm probably not really a radical at heart and that it's just a phase that I'll grow out of.

That's the kind of assumption that drives me crazy.

Glad you dropped by, Katxena! I think your original post framed this in a way that made your intent a little clearer; my taking the "don't assume" part out of context muddied it a bit.

And yes, what you wrote makes loads of sense. :)




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This page contains a single entry by Liz Lawley published on August 1, 2003 5:56 PM.

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