death be not proud

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Six months ago, I attended my sister's wedding. It was a joyful occasion. My sister's life hasn't been an easy one, and I know she'd often thought she'd never find romantic love.

Today, I will attend her husband's funeral.

He was killed in a terrible car crash yesterday morning, as he drove to the college where he's been taking classes in social work. We were told by the social worker at the hospital that the 22-year-old woman who hit him (who was not injured seriously) had been fixing a bagel in her car, and had crossed over onto the wrong side of the road and hit him head-on. He sustained massive head injuries, and passed away yesterday afternoon.

If you're the kind of person who prays, please pray for my sister, to help her through this incomprehensible loss.

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I am in the midst of travels, just completed one trip, about to head out on another. I hadn't planned on writing to the weblog during these trips except that I heard from a friend who asked if I was on Blogger Strike. Since that was one of my more asin... Read More


That is truly an awful thing. My heart goes out to your sister and family in such painful times.

Oh my god, Liz, that's so awful. All my condolences.

Shall I post the terrible news to the list? I know there are many who would want to pass their condolences to your sister.

Deepest condolences, Liz, to your sister and all of your family.

Our deepest sympathies and prayers.

Deepest condolences, Liz.

Liz - my heart goes out to you and your sister. Deeply.

If not for them the noble act would not have taken place.

Though some of us cannot recite Kaddish nor Yizkor, we can live in the spirit of those observances.

If not for you and the memory you carry, who is there to call out for the recitation of the words "Oseh sholom bimromov, hu ya'aseh sholom olaynu ..."

If not for you and the memory you share, who is there remind us that on certain days and at certain times to blog is a mitzvah...

If not for you and the memory you keep, who is there to remind us of the duty to offer comfort to a grieving sister...

In your keeping, in your sharing and in your remembering, there is nobility.

I'm so sorry.

I'm really sorry, Liz.

That's just awful. And a keenly felt reminder of what we all take for granted.

Such tragedies seem to render mere words meaningless.


Dear Liz, know our hearts to grieve with you, and our hands to be ready to offer what help we can.

When you don’t hear us clamoring with sympathy and aid, remember that we’re keeping vigil along with you, and honoring your brother-in-law, your sister, you and the rest of your family with a quiet that speaks far more truly of your loss than could any anxious chatter.

And if at any time, in any way, we can support you, serve you, strengthen you, or just sigh with you, please permit us to do whatever we can for you.

Grace and peace be with you — eventually.

No words. Just sincere sorrow.

I am so sorry to hear this, Liz. I was just married seven months ago, and for many years felt I would never find someone, much as your sister. I know that these first few months of marriage are an amazing time as you settle into the idea that you'll be with this other person for the rest of your life, and that's a source of great comfort. I can't imagine what it feels like to have that suddenly torn away. I feel so awful for your sister.

How terrible and sad. My heart goes out to your sister and you. Pax.

Oh, Jesus, Liz. I am so sorry. Your sister -- and you, and the rest of your family -- are in my thoughts.

It's one of those things that one says, when one doesn't know what to DO -- but if there is anything -- absolutely anything -- that I can do to help, please know that I'm here, and ready, and willing.

I'm the kind of person who prays; I'm praying for your sister. This loss is incomprehensible. Almost as incomprehensible is that this did not catch God by surprise. We seek God in times of pain, not because we understand, but because God understands.

Please accept my condolences to your sister and your family on your tragic loss. My heart goes out to you all.

I'm very sorry for your family's loss, Liz.

oh, how aweful. I'm so sorry.

Words fail us all. Sincere sympathies to you, your sister and your whole family. Your sister is in my thoughts.

How horrible. I am so sorry, Liz.

you will all be in our prayers

peace be with you and your family.

Your sister and your family will be in my prayers as well.

Liz, this is so sad; your sister and family will be in my prayers.

Oh that's so awful, Liz, deepest sympathy to you all. "... like tears from a star, on and on the rain will say, how fragile we are."

*hugs* because there are simply no words.

My heart goes out to your family Professor Lawley, I'm terribly sorry about the news.

That is so hard. I'll keep your sister and family in my prayers also.

Liz, I am so sorry. Please accept my condolences to your sister and your family. :-(

I'm sorry for your loss. You and your sister are in my prayers, Liz.

Thinking of you fondly and sadly....

Oh dear god that's horrible.

Liz -

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you deal with this tragedy. :{

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. What an incredible shock.

My best friend's younger sister was killed in a car accident about 10 years ago, so I know from experience what you must be feeling. I had a great deal of anger at the time and I continually questioned "why?". Actually, I still do.

It is so difficult when a young person dies and it seems to unfair.

My thoughts and prayers are with and your sister.

Liz, thank you for this beautiful blog acknowledgement of our family's tragic loss. I think your friends should know how much you have been doing for us all during this difficult time: everything from hospital runs to staying with Jenny when I have to be out to driving your grandmother where she needs to go to getting meals and cleaning up and answering the phone and taking care of the coats for hundreds (literally hundreds) of visitors. We are deeply grateful.

I'm so sorry. My sympathies and prayers are with you and your family.

Liz, I'm so sorry. Please accept my condolences and you all are in my thoughts at this very difficult time.

Oh Liz, I'm so sorry. You and your family, especially your sister, are in our thoughts and prayers.

Oh, Liz -- what a senseless tragedy. Your Sept. list friends are all thinking of you.


Oh Liz! How awful. I am so sorry....I'm lighting a candle in his memory.

Liz, I am so sorry. Your sister and your family are in my prayers.

Liz - I'm holding you and both families in my thoughts and prayers. Thankfully they had found each other, if only for a snippet of time. May memories ease your pain and time heal your hearts.

I ache for Jenny, you, and all your family. You all are in our prayers. May his memory be eternal.

Dear Liz:

My sincere condolences on the loss of your brother-in-law. It is so good of you to be there for your family, and I hope that you will find some time to grieve yourself when all the activity is over and the quiet remains.

Saying a prayer for you and your family tonight.

With love, Theresa

Just saw this. What an awful loss.

Hold her close and let her know how many strangers wish for better times to come.

Lisa F.

Dear Liz,

I am so sorry for you and your family's loss.

I am going through this experience too. My wife was killed in a car accident on 4/4/02. A place I found that has helped me very much is I found people there that understand and welcomed me. It may be something your sister could use in the days to come.


I'm so sorry. I am sending my prayers.

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